Welcome to my Blog

Hey there! I'm so glad you're here. This first post represents many years of struggle and personal growth to get to the place where I could share freely and hopefully, help people like me grow personally and grow in their faith.

I've had a long journey with Jesus that began in a crucible where I really needed him. Being born into a Fundamentalist family was the centerpoint of my life. It occupied my days, my thoughts and my many, many journals. Keeping secrets. Enduring abuse on many levels. Hiding pain. Trying to understand my life and my family all while going to a Fundamentalist church and school that my parents taught in - this occupied many years of my life. Keeping on a face that didn't exist and being duty bound to portray a family that didn't exist,

either. It was so, so hard.

In my high school years, life took a very hard, hairpin turn that made me wonder how I would go forward into adult life and actually make it. In the midst of this, Someone was relating to me. Someone was coming to me and visiting me. But who was it? Was it the Jesus that I learned about in church? or the Jesus that I learned about in the Bible as I read it in the privacy of my sanctuary - my bedroom. Because the Jesus they showed me at the church, the 'Christian school' and at home was one that wasn't worth knowing. But, the one I was learning to know on my own in my bedroom was amazing. Gentle, protective, loving and so, so kind.

My quest became knowing who it was that I was relating to. Who it was that showed up among the wolves inside me and told them to be quiet and back off. The one who nudged me to come and talk to him. The one who comforted me when tears and sleep paralysis ravaged me. The one who befriended me when no one else would. The one who stayed with me through searching and sin and confusion. Until I finally found him to be the Jesus that is like the one in the Bible and like the one in the pictures with children and flocks of sheep. That one. The one you can trust and who loves you. I had been knowing him.

From where I was to where I'm at now has been a journey of thousands of miles. He has changed my life and always for the better. I am so glad I met the Jesus who really IS instead of the God they portrayed. For just like the life they forced me to pretend I was in that didn't really exist - they also portrayed a God and a Jesus who doesn't really exist. No, he isn't mean, punishing, hateful, judgmental, and demeaning. They are and they do it in his name and blame it on him, but he is nothing like them and nothing like that.

My mission in life is to help people like me along the path that I've been on - healing and learning who God and Jesus really are and developing myself and my life in a faith-integrated way.